Falling into fall

Fall is my favorite season! I love cooler weather it brings along with the beauty of trees. My only problem with fall is it just seems so rushed. I am rushing here and there trying to get things done. Animals are rushing to prepare for winter. I am wishing it was November so this crazy election will be over! I am sick to death of hearing all of it and I truly don’t think anyone has the answers to our problems. They all mean well, but…

Speaking of sick…holy cow, I had a terrible case of the flu followed by weeks of ear trouble. Last year I was perfect…ok, maybe not perfect, but I was rarely sick. This year, I have already had to take 2 ½ days which is more than I took all of last year. I just finished a heavy duty course of antibiotics which have not fixed my problem. L So, now I have to go to a specialist and face the possibility of more surgery. But, if surgery will stop the pain and restore my hearing I am all for it! I have been cut open so many times in the last years, what's one more time!? My personal ad would read: Divorced 30 something white female. Loves cats and kids and wants lots of both. Applicants must have good health insurance, love coffee and have a scar fetish. :-)

My class is coming along. I am getting a new student on Monday and that puts me up to 23. They are a handful, but I have really come to love and respect their talents. As a community, we have made a lot of progress. I also got my SMARTBoard installed and have been loving it! It really does make things easier. Still working out the kinks, but it is blending into things very well.

Well, it’s Sunday, and that is my grade a ton of papers day. So, no more stalling. Happy Fall to everyone!

September So Soon!?

I can't believe that it is Labor Day already. If I turn around twice, it will be Christmas. The summer flew by and now, I am back to school. It was a long first week back, but I have every confidence that this group of kids will come together to form a wonderful class. Nothing worth having comes easy and this year will be no exception.

I was really touched to have one of last years students writing me through her younger brother, who is in my class this year. She made such huge leaps and bounds last year and I am so touched to hear from her. I am so blessed to have made a difference in at least one life last year. That is what gives me the courage to go forward when things get tough.

Shelly is getting bigger and more curious every day. Yesterday, I attempted to take a bath and she decided she need to sit on the edge of the tub and keep me company. All was well till she fell in the tub. It was so funny. She kept slipping back in as she tried to get out. When she finally got her footing she flew out of the bathroom and down the hall. I had to cut the bath short to go find the soaking wet kitten and help dry her off. She sure smells good today. :-)

I have enjoyed my labor free day. It was shorter than it needed to be, but that's life. The good things always end too quickly. It is the crap in life that never seems to end. Oh well, that which doesn't kill us...

God give me work, till my life shall end, and life, till my work is done.- Epitaph of Winifred Holtby

Itching

Well, I am itching to go back to work...let me rephrase that, I have to start back to work on Monday and I have already spent about a week at school getting my room more organized and ready for my new SMARTBoard. I can't wait to get it!!! It is really going to make life so much easier.

I am ready to go back to work! I am really board at home. I mean, everything is clean and in order. I 'm tire of watching TV, tired of knitting, tired of reading, just plain tired of everything! I can't wait to meet my new group of kids. I am really excited about this year, as all the unknowns are behind me and I am ready to jump in and get going.

Right now, I am trying to relax at home today, but having trouble doing that. The people beside me moved out and hadn't mowed their yard in about 2 months. Since it was the other half of my yard, I just couldn't take it anymore, so daddy and I trimmed and mowed. Well, I unfortunately got into some poison and I am itchy and bitchy!!!! I want to wash my car, but can't be out in the sun and I'm too hideous to be out in public. Tomorrow I am going into work and make some copies, but I must give this stuff another day to dry out.

Shelly is continuing to grow and is getting more inquisitive every day! She really is a delightful little girl and I love her dearly, but I still miss my boy so very much! She reminds me of him in a lot of ways! I know he is watching and had a paw in creating her for me. She is getting really long and her ears are bigger than mine, but she is still so bone thin. The vet says she will eventually start packing on the weight to match her frame. God, help then!

You have to love kittens!

Shelly discovered today that hiding a toy mouse in my school bag is a wonderful idea. She spent about an hour playing in the bag. Her big sister Monkey came to check out the action and this is too funny...at least to me. :-)

To Everything There is a Season

I was just listening to “Turn! Turn! Turn!” by the Byrds and found myself reflecting on the seasons of my life over the year. I think this song touches on all the times in my life over the last year. It was a time to be:

1. Born—if reincarnation is possible, I have been reborn as the me I always wanted to be. A teacher and person who loves her job and her life.


2. To die—the old me died and along with it all of the old ways, doubts, fears and pains.


3. To plant—I planted the seeds of learning in my class and watched them grow and succeed.


4. To reap—I gathered so much information, support, knowledge, ideas and love from friend’s, family, and coworkers.


5. To kill—I had to destroy stereotypes, doubts, prejudice, and long term lesson plans.


6. To heal—I had to finally lay the past to rest and move on with life. I had to allow myself to heal and to move forward so I could grow and learn.


7. To laugh—Oh, I did so much laughing this year with my kids. Laughter is the best medicine and will always be present in my room. If my mistakes and humor helps my kids to be successfull, then I will put on a big red nose and ears every day!


8. To weep—I wept many times this last year. I wept for my kids and their unfortunate home lives, I wept for friends, and family and mostly, I wept over the loss of my Pusser.


9. To build up—I built up my students by teaching them to believe in themselves so that they didn’t have to wait for someone to believe in them. Sometimes, that never comes.


10. To break down—I had to break down bad habits for myself and my students. Not to mention, all the boxes I had to break down again from moving.


11. To dance—So many opportunities to dance around the house full of excitement and happiness. Especially after SOL scores came in and I realized that I had made a difference and I had done my job well.


12. To mourn—Unfortunately, I had to mourn the loss of my dear little boy and I had to share with coworkers in the loss of our student Madison.


13. To cast away stones—I had to sort through all of the ideas, theories and gods of education to find the true source of successful teaching and which stones had a place in my foundation.


14. To gather stones together—I had to figure out what stones would provide strength to the foundation I was building. I gathered many stones this year. My favorite stones were Betsy, Lori and Meredith. My teammates who showed me how to do everything and who made me feel like a part of the family. Without them, my little shanty would have collapsed. Then there is the my dear friend and mentor Jeannie who told me to "Believe in myself" which is my moto for 2008-2009 instead of "I Will Survive." And my parents, who donated so much time and money to making my classroom a home. My mom donated over 150 books to my classroom library this year. And my daddy, donated a class set of mini white boards for my students. He is the best gardner in the world and I know my neighbors apprecate the work he does to keep my little house looking pretty. Their kindness, support and love is perhaps the single thing that has enabled me to start over. My mom is my biggest cheerleader and fan. I would be lost (and skinner) without her! I love you mom!


15. Of war—I learned that there were times you had to stand up for what you believe in and be willing to fight to the end for what is right regardless of the outcome. I learned, painfully, that you have to go with your gut instinct regardless of what others are telling you.


16. Of peace—I learned that you can catch more bees with honey and sucking up does have its place!


17. To gain—I gained so much strength, hope and wisdom (and gray hairs too) from watching my students. They amazed me every day. And unfortunately, my heart grew another size again…now it is 5 sizes too big. I gained a sweet little girl, Shelly, that was sent from heaven by her big brother, Pusser, to keep me happy.



18. To lose—I lost my mind, my patience, my bank account, a few pounds and a best friend.


19. To rend—I split from old ideas, habits and failures.


20. To sew—I took the broken, tattered and damaged pieces of my heart and checkbook and sewed them back together stronger than before. Both just waiting for the opportunity to have their seams tested. Neither one is busting at the seams yet, but I know that day will come.


21. To love—so much to love this year. 21 children that I grew to love beyond what I thought was humanly possible! A new little girl at home who has found her way to a special place in my heart. Lots of ideas to love and this fall a SMARTboard to love in my classroom after hours of hard work.


22. And to hate—I hated the home life that some of my kids had. I hated parents who didn’t take their children’s education more seriously. I hated politics and how they effect my kids. I hated my heating bills and freezing all winter. I hated getting sick. And mostly, I hated for the year to end! I hated to say goodbye to my students. Many who I won’t see again.
    

Tuesday begins a new season--Summer School. I will be teaching Second grade to 7 children who have some special needs. I am excited and very anxious about it. I am sure during the next few weeks I will go through the 22 seasons all over again. But, just think of how boring life would be without change!?

Stress, SOL's and Shelly

May has arrived and with it came more than just flowers. May has brought all kinds of new stress into my life.

Mostly, the stress of SOL's and wondering if I have taught my kids all the skills they need to be successful on their tests and as they move on to 6th grade in the fall. I know in my heart that I have done the best I could do and that the rest is up to them. I kind of feel like what I imagine a parent feels like when their child leaves the nest to move on with their individual lives. I worry about my kids. Most will have a great experience in 6th grade, but for some, my heart aches. I know how traumatic 6th grade was for me. In fact, it was so terrible that I moved to a private school for the remaining 6 grades. But, I survived as will my kids.

Terrible tension headaches have kicked in with a vengeance! There were a few days this week that I wasn't sure I could make it through the day and I had to give in and take my headache medication. I have spent this weekend just relaxing and my head and back are feeling better. Now, if I can just keep myself from getting worked up this week...

In addition to my "bad" stress, I have also had "good" stress. The good stresses name is Shelly. Shelly moved in with us on May 9th and turned our world upside down! She was 9 weeks old on Friday and is such a sweetie. Monkey actually adopted her, which completely surprised me. They are buddies. It is so wonderful. Little Miss however wants nothing to do with her. Let me rephrase that, the only thing she wants to do with her is beat her up! Sheba has no claws and is 16 years old, so she is no threat to Shelly. I just hate that she hates her. I guess Sheba is still grieving for Pusser and is not ready to have someone filling his chair. I miss Pusser so much, but having Shelly has helped to fill that void and every time I look at her orange spots I am reminded of my dear little boy and all the joy he brought me.

This week is SOL week and for the first time, all of our tests are being given on the computer. We have been practicing as much as possible but don't know what to expect. I just pray there aren't any technical glitches. My plan for this week is to breathe, stretch and take it one day at a time. Yea, we'll see how that goes.